Dear God started off as an experiment of a sorts. It was a journal I began back in 2006. Today I have decided to put one of these journal entries on this blog. It amazes me how much a person can change in 2 years.
As upset as this situation makes me, I am also very grateful to you for sparing the lives of my children. Both my children had negative reactions to their childhood vaccines. My son’s reactions are far worse than his older sister.
JR has what is known as Autism. What it truly is ; I call mercury poisoning. A preservative known as thimerasol which is almost 50% mercury was added to vaccines so more doses could be added to a vial. He and his sister Samantha also suffer from ADHD. His is the hyperactive form and hers is more attention and focus related.
The drug company who developed and marketed this product is Eli Lily. They knew in 1929 when they first marketed the preservative, that this would cause problems. It didn’t stop them though. They marketed it to the other drug companies for newly developed products (vaccines, teething powers etc).
Today in church the sermon was about “Wholly Surrendering” to you. Not giving up but giving over control to you. Being the person I am, a control freak, I always considered giving control tantamount to giving up. I think though over these past six years I have to some extent learned to give over. I fought it of the time but you are pretty insistent in your subtle ways.
Because I have given over some control to you, the guidance you have given since JR was diagnosed has been invaluable. I know it has been your hand in all these choices, brining me to information, organizations, and people who have vital information. Opening my mind to “think outside the box” and look for alternative treatment options. For all this and so much more I am eternally grateful.
Yet, I feel compelled to ask; why is this being allowed to begin with? Why is man’s stupidity and greed allowed to control man’s compassion and intelligence? Why can’t the majority see the “big” picture instead of their one small piece in the puzzle? Why are we so busy we can’t pause and step back to evaluate the situation?
A lot of whys I know. I hope some day to find the answers.